Stefn Ullarsson Piparskeggr (ullarsskald1957) wrote,
Stefn Ullarsson Piparskeggr

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Thinking about my dad, again...

Well, just over 8 weeks since he died and just under 8 weeks since we buried hm.

The wound is deeper and fresher than I realized, my feelings tested worst than I'd admitted.

I do a lot of my thinking "aloud," by writing poetry.

I wrote this morning, looking to sort things out for myself...

Grey Muse


Through the tears in my soul;

Came the tears to my eyes.

And pale was my heart

As I walked past the Pale


The journey was bleak

As I strode alone

Beneath the wan light

Of an ashy grey sky.


The path was dusty

Though no mark I left

My foot falls were muffled

As if I were naught


Ahead was a sight

The same as behind

From darkness I came

To darkness I trekked


Then off to the side

A spark danced afar

Tiny, actinic

Attracting my eyes


The light seemed to call

Alter your course

Get out of this path

Take hold of yourself


My body felt leaden

Fighting the thoughts

Of turning aside

And leaving the gloom


My Self shrieked at Me

As if the effort

Were causing great pain

Great fear and great burden


But I slowly turned

As I sensed the Right

That following flare

Was best thing to do


The ground seemed to heal

As I left the dust

And finally my feet

Were buried in grass


I looked behind

The darkness was clear

A part of my past

Perhaps journey's end


But something inside

Had known all along

That I still had life

And things I must do


The dark had been quiet,

Calming and kind

The easiest path

For me, myself and I


But that's not the way

I had learned to walk

Not easiest path

But being and doing


The light's where I am

It's where I will stay

Though I know that the dark

Ever will lurk


Through the tears in my soul;

Came the tears to my eyes.

And pale was my heart

As I walked past the Pale

Tags: dad, grief, loss, recovery
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